Shit Got Cash
by PierceVilliers
Summary: This story is gay. Seriously. Made for laughs and wtf moments. (You can even cry if you want to. Lots of slash and dumb things for the bored asswipe inside me)
1. CheshireDavid

Cheshire comes up to David. David is gay and looking his way. He blushies. He turns his head away because he doesn't like the cat. But he whispers to the reader: "But I do like the cat." And so he begins to strip away his messy clothes and reveals his mocha (actually pale) skin.

Cheshire smiled really big, and took David to the other World so they could have a threesom and do the ol' in out and loopty loop threesome. The naked Davey blushied and hided behind WR when they got there and Rabbit was holding onto the big keyblade of all warriors.

Cheshire pulled out a Mickey Mouse costume and put it on himself. Slowly, he slipped on a Riku costume on David. David whined, saying that his clothes were too tight. But Cheshire's kitty buldge couldn't take it because this was too exciting.

Rabbit was not okay with this, so he ripped off his nipple bombs to destroy the quilty cat. But the kitty guy was fast. HE WAS BETTER THAN THE RABBIT. So he brought out the cactus dildo and tossed it at the nipple bombs. Rabbit was angry but he could not move. He was probably just jealous that Cheshire had David's ass and he didn't. What a prick!

Cheshire ran off with Riku David in his hands (paws, things, what the fuck ever it is) and began making out with him. David took it all in. They roleplayed the sex and David-Riku was shouting out "MICKEY! YEAH!"

They makeded out and flippeded over and stuff and did the sex. It was hot.

Really hot.

So hot that this fanfiction should burn.

And so David and Cheshire made babies.

The end.


	2. Chapter 2: CheshireAllen

Allen was reading a book. While lifting 43278580923 books with his bara muscles (that were barely there but let's pretend anyways), he was reading Moby Dick. If only Allen knew that soon he'd be finding Cheshire's Moby Dick.

Allen heard a noise from Narnia. This was a sign. A sign that he had to go in the wardrobe... AGAIN. Snow and stuff was gay but what the fuck ever. His bara legs stepped into the wardrobe. It was cool. Like... cold cool.

Cheshire came out and asked, "Come on and tell me. What's colder than cold?"

"PK FREEZE" Lucas screamed from the distance.

Cheshire repeated once more, a little more irritated, "I CAN'T HEAR YA. What's colder than cold?"

"PK FREEZE!" LucaS SHOUTED from behind Allen.

Bara Allen was in shock. He tried to turn around bUT LUCAS PK FREEZED ALLEN.

All Allen could say in the ice was "Alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright."

Lucas ran off, screamiNG, "PK THUNDERRRRRRR!" And it shattered the ice between the ceshire titty from alern and whatever.

It was cold, but that was okay. The cat pulled out a cup, whispering in Allen's ear as soft as he could.

"Fill this lil beach with miniature breakfast items or I swear I will not frick frack in the snow w/ you whatever I'm not even tryin' rn." And he was being serious, because as the writer, I seriously don't even wanna try right now. If you're still reading this far, you have some serious issues.

Allen nodded, because he really wanted to know how to kill Cheshire's mockingbird. And so he dashed into the world of Narnia to find those tiny breakfast items his lover, so dearingly, asked for. But he couldn't find them.

Because... they were in Narnia.

Allen was sad.

Maybe.

But he had to do the cat one way or another.

THOSE BREAKFAST ITEMS MUST BE FOUND.

Luckily, sPIDER MAN WAS THERE. The bara hurried to Spider Man, showing the bruh the cup like he was gonna die (which would be a good thing because fanfiction like this would surely make you suffer).

Spider Man shook his head, possibly grinning but no one is ever shure because there was a mask OVER HIS FACE.

"I look great in red and blue. You? Black and blue," Spider Man said to Allen. Allen was like "..." but Spider man kept talking.

"AI YAI YAI IM A LITTLE BUTTERFLY" echoed throughout Narnia (maybe). Such weirdness had to had come from somewhere. And knowing that Allen was eager to topple Da Cheshire's Vinci's Code, he had to find those little items to fill the cup or he would be stuck in the Narnia world 5ever!

The adventure should have stopped by now, but it didn't because this story is trying to waste your time. We all knew that Allen was in such a hurry to use Cheshire's catcher for his rye.

But it all came to him, when he passed by a boy in a cap. It was... Ness.

"PK FIRE"

Allen was in awe.

"PK FIRE."

Allen was so happy.

"PK FIRE."

Everything was complete.

And so Allen returned to Cheshire, Ness in his hands.

"Nani the frack is kore."

"I'm Catching Fire." Allen responded.

Cheshire gaspu'd, "But I thought you wanted my Mockingjay."

"No..." Allen slowly said, flexing his muscles. "Your Hunger Games will not fool me!"

...He knew.

Allen knew Cheshire's secret, now.

The bara boy dropped Ness, wrapping his thick bara arms around the kitty's neck. They fricked. Even if Allen didn't want to immediately jump on Cheshire's breaking dawn, he couldn't hold himself back.

It was hot on a cold day.

So hot that you'd wish I'd just burn already for making you suffer.

The end.


	3. Chapter 3: Cheshire(Cheston)Hibiya

Hibiya was just being a normal kid dreaming about the many times he was trying to save that useless girl in the Kagepro story and seeing that black cat many times. He was being way to lame because that girl was after Konoha and obviously was not interested in someone as low as Hibiya but who care, right? Who the frick cares.

So it was time for Hibiya to go to his therapist. Because he can. Even though his parents probably don't believe in this therapist crap (MOSTLY HIS DAD I BET) but this is a fanfiction so anything can happen.

So, once again, it was time for Hibiya to go to his therapist. He walked inside a tall building full of therapists and they were all really nice.

Such niceness.

Much like.

Wow.

Hibiya hoped his therapist would be really nice.

Or something like that.

He walked into the elevator and there he was.

Dr. Cheston.

Kinky if you ask me because whoa.

Hibiya was confused at first because like, wow, his therapist was in an elevator and he had to do his therapy shIT IN A FUCKIG N ELEVATOR. HOW THE F-

"Do you have an appointment?" Cheston asked as he adjusted his velly manry glasses. Hibiya was confused for a little bit, but he was sure this was his therapist because why the fuck not. The receptionist said to go into the elevator and you'll see from there.

"Yeah." Hibiya responded nervously. Omg this guy was so hot he had to be like... in flames. Because he deserves to be dead- I mean he was just that hot.

"Oh, you must be that time... time o' clock of specific time, yeah. I have you not written down at all. Come sit down and we'll get started."

Hibiya obeyed, but his legs shook because ermahgerd Cheston was hella hot with dem scars all over his face. Hibiya felt like he wanted to be the therapist and ask him what was wrong. But no... Hibiya was a customer/client thing and he should have spoke.

Laying down on the chair within the elevator, Hibiya began to speak. Though people may have used the elevator once in awhile, Hibiya was confident about his... problems.

He spoke of the dreams he had of Hiyoi... Hiyo... Hinata Hyuuga... that one GIRL he was dreaming about. Screw her, though. He talked about the cat, and all the times she would die OR WHATEVER THE FUCK happened.

He soon switched the subject about going into an electronic store, pulling out a banana, and saying that he wanted to upgrade into an apple. But he was just so nervous being around the hot therapist, Cheston. He could feel himself pitching a tent.

Hibiya was sweating, quickly talking about dressing up as a duck and throwing bread at people saying, "HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?! HUH!?"

Cheston fixed his glasses with his middle finger as if he was flipping the bird at every beach who walked in AND Hibiya. He stooded upedededed and stepped closer to the Hibiya. Yes. The Hibiya.

The boy was trembling in place as Cheston hovered over him. This shit was SO cash he was gonna tell his fucking DAD when he got dad ass bitch better treat him like a GOD because he was gonna frick frack his therapist LIKE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

The two frickle frackled in the elevator and many people didn't even notice because logic doesn't exist in this story. Hibiya was sHOUTING LIKE "MMM YEAH HARDER" with Cheston's 60 mile donger.

Such a wang was great.

When they finished, Hibiya walkeded home, sweating like cray cray because wow that was some awesome sex. The stuff leading to the sex was more detailed then the sex but who cares?

Cheshire cat x Hibiya just happened.

Hot.

The End.


	4. Chapter 4: Frankfurter Rick and Rick

**A/N**: _I did not write this AT ALL. I seriously took an excerpt from some novel and replaced the words with Rick and Frankfurter Rick, etc. Link is here for the original._

** entertainment/books/news/a28478/farrah-abraham-erotic-novel-excerpt/**

**I TAKE NO CREDIT FOR WRITING THIS. NONE OF THIS IS MY WRITING. I ONLY REPLACED WORDS. LINK IS ABOVE FOR ORIGINAL.**

_Please cry at your own will. _

* * *

><p>"What the hell was that, Rick?" Franfurter Rick snapped as he slowed down for a red light.<p>

"What was what? You need to chill out."

"You totally embarrassed me back there." He pounded his knuckle on the steering wheel and frowned at Rick.

"They were boring. Get more interesting friends and I'll pay attention." Rick rolled my eyes. He was fine going to the party — He wasn't about to say no to free booze or a reason to get dressed up — but this was ridiculous... He sat and fumed until they reached Hot Dog Rick's building. Rick got out of the car and slammed the door shut, turning to face him — the moment his cell phone rang.

Hot Dog Rick held up a finger, no doubt aware Rick had been about to let him have it. "Hey, Dad."

Rick rolled his eyes and followed him into the building. He couldn't even storm off without him — his keys were upstairs in his condo. Hot Dog Rick hung up before they got on the elevator, but another couple was already waiting for the lift. Rick managed to hold his anger in, preferring to tell him off in private, anyways.

Franfurter Rick led the way to his front door and unlocked it. He had Rick's rebuttal on the tip of his tongue. The front door closed and he jerked Rick into his arms. His kiss was hot, hungry, demanding. Rick found himself melting into it, sinking into his touch, seduced by the taste of him and how he so expertly commanded him with one touch. Rick pushed at his shoulders. "I'm supposed to be mad at you."

"Be mad at me later. Fuck me now." He didn't let Rick reply, just swept him off his feet and carried him across the space.

"Mm, okay." It was impossible to think when Hot Dog Rick kissed him like this, thrusting into his mouth, touching his body. They made it to the dining table. Franfurter Rick kicked the chairs away and set Rick on the edge. Though they'd had sex on most of the furniture, this was new. He clawed at the zipper, yanking it down. Fabric might have ripped, Rick wasn't too sure.

Rick's legs hung off the side and his shoes dropped to the floor, discarded like his clutch and Hot Dog Rick's keys before them. Cool air skated over Rick's chest. Rick had forgone a wifebeater since he knew Franfurter Rick liked that, so there was nothing to shield his chest when he jerked the shirt down to his waist. The sleeves captured his arms at his sides. Franfurter Rick's narrowed gaze devoured his body, touching Rick with dark intent. Rick shivered and strained toward him, except he kept Rick where he was. Rick loved and hated Hot Dog Rick's strength, how he could control him, throw him around at will. Right now it was fucking hot.

He pushed Rick down onto the table and held him there with one hand on his stomach and stripped his dress off him, leaving Rick in just boxers. This uninhibited style of sex was new to Rick, and he was quickly growing addicted. Rick had never known the rough abandon or carnal intent Franfurter Rick showed him. Rick's stomach fluttered as Hot Dog Rick grasped his boxers and pulled them. They ripped at the seam on one side. Franfurter Rick and Rick paused, staring at the bit of torn material. A grin spread across his face and he ripped the other side with a simple flex of his arms.

Franfurter Rick shed his suit jacket and shirt until all he wore were his pants, and those were easy to get rid of. Rick wanted to do that himself, unbutton his shirt, caress his chest, but Franfurter Rick was the type who wanted all the control when they fucked. It was a small thing to capitulate to his desire, especially when he made Rick come so many times.

He stepped between Rick's knees, pushing them open. Rick's heart still beat a little harder the first moment Hot Dog Rick saw him completely exposed. The nearest chair scraped across the floor as Hot Dog Rick brought it back to the head of the table and sat down. Rick was his feast, spread out for the taking. He didn't waste time touching or caressing, but they often didn't have time for that. He cupped Rick's ass in both hands, his shoulders keeping Rick open to him, and lifted him up. Rick flattened his hands against the table and held his breath as Franfurter Rick licked the length of Rick's shaft.

Rick's toes brushed Franfurter Rick's chest and he splayed his hands wider. He sucked on Rick's dick, kneading his ass. He'd surprised Rick the first time he'd penetrated him, introducing him to a new realm of sexual fantasy. It was easy to imagine this moment happening in a movie. Just thinking about what they were doing and where was so hot, Rick almost came from the mental picture alone. Franfurter Rick put him down and grabbed Rick's hand, tugging him upright.

"Huh?" Rick blinked at him, a little lust crazed. He dug in his pocket for his wallet and slapped it on the table before kicking off his pants and underwear. Rick flipped it open and took out the condom Hot Dog Rick placed there in the morning — just in case. So far they needed all of his just-in-case condoms. Rick tore the packet open but Franfurter Rick took the bit of latex from him before he could roll it on him and did it himself. Franfurter Rick pulled him to the edge of the table and thrust into Rick. Rick gasped and gripped the edge as his body stretched to accommodate him. The feel of him was growing more familiar. Franfurter Rick leaned over Rick, forcing him back almost to his elbows and thrust, sinking fully into him.

Franfurter Rick bent his head and sucked one nipple. Rick pushed his fingers through his hair and squeezed him with his internal muscles. It felt as if there was a thread of sensation tied from his chest to my ass, and every pass of his tongue caressed Rick everywhere. At long last he began to thrust, in and out of Rick's entrance. The sound of Hot Dog Rick's breathing, of their joining bodies, it was the only sound in the condo. Rick groaned, frustrated at the slow pace of Franfurter Rick's movements, the lack of stimulation to his ass. He'd spoiled Rick for the most part, giving him multiple orgasms when no one else had ever been able to deliver.

The chair was just behind him and Rick was able to perch his foot on its edge. When Hot Dog Rick thrust, so did Rick. Little sparks went off behind Rick's eyelids at the sensation. Again, he thrust and Rick lifted to meet him. Oh, that was good.

Rick's orgasm rolled up through his body, warm and all-consuming, he shuddered and whimpered as Franfurter Rick continued to fuck him. Sparks of sensation coursed through Rick's veins, drawing the orgasm out longer as Franfurter Rick hit the perfect spot within him. Rick almost cried out, the pleasure becoming too much, but Franfurter Rick thrusted deep and groaned. Rick panted, relieved he'd come too.

The end.


End file.
